I became the chameleon: Missing out on community

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Artist known as Invisible Man

Upon reflecting some on what I wrote for sixth grade (read that here), it occurred to me that I had actually transformed into that chameleon that I so desperately wanted to be. (If you missed that one, you can find it here.)

I really thought I reached that level much later in life, but in all honesty, the proof is shown during the misery of sixth grade.

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Two-Face living and after-school meltdowns

Looking back, I am so amazed at my level of awareness to surroundings. I knew being in public meant needing to put forth as much effort to be “good.” I distinctly remember being on my best behavior with relatives visiting, trying to smile and be happy. Once they left, my attitude changed almost instantly. I didn’t understand why it was so difficult to just stay happy.

It’s also why in high school I termed this phenomenon “being two-faced.” I was pleasant, trying to be as easy-going as possible at school and then all the emotions and irritations were let loose at home.

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Visits with Grand-daddy, the pincher

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Oh yeah, I was allergic to milk at this stage. So that’s a different kind of formula.

The positive aspect of my grandparents taking me to school was spending more time with them.

Grand-daddy was sick a lot and spent a lot of time in bad. But I’d go up to their room and visit with him. One of their dresser drawers housed a couple of baby dolls, and we would play. We played a few board games too on the bed or using a meal tray. But mostly I remember getting out those dolls.

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Therapy, beautiful Cloud Face and insights on kindness

I look at that list of sensory issues and think “How did my family manage not to kill each other?”

But I also look at my childhood and think that it was relatively normal. We had fun. There were games, movie nights, camping trips and other typical activities. It wasn’t an awful childhood. I am very much blessed. But I did have extra challenges and obstacles to overcome that most of my classmates didn’t have to deal with.

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Giraffes and chameleons

I have long had a fascination with giraffes and felt a kinship with them. They are the tallest mammal, have long legs, and can be very awkward as a newborn learning to walk. With their height, they are very noticeable; you would not want them on your team when playing hide-and-seek!

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