My experience with Sensory Processing Disorder and its impact on self-image
One memory that stands out from childhood is getting to be on my parents’ bed. Wasn’t that always the best? It felt like a heavenly escape almost because it was far more comfortable than my own. But the moments were like being in a spa almost. Just a relaxing treat.
Continue reading “A mother’s loving touch”
April marks a year of blogging. A year of directed, focused reflection and self-analysis.
The pieces are falling into place. I have a much better sense of who I am, what I have to offer others, my strengths, my abilities, my temperament and all the ways I have reason to be proud of how I’ve grown up, the person I’ve become.
It’s always hard to say goodbye to someone you love. Even if that “someone” is a four-legged animal. But if you love with your whole heart it means that loss is felt with your whole being. And that’s where I’m at right now.
I got two guinea pigs in July 2010 (Martha and Lizzie) when I was living several states away from home. It was such a welcomed change to have something else in the apartment that I could talk to and pet. Those dust bunnies aren’t exactly friendly.
Being with the youth group was awesome and challenging. I gave a few talks and eventually lead some small group discussions. The talks were scary and I was certainly nervous the whole time, but I got up there and I did it. A few people made a pointed effort to thank me for sharing, no matter how raw the delivery was.
What I enjoyed most was being part of this community, having the opportunity to be involved in some way. I was learning more about my faith, and seeing it in action meant everything. I really reveled in the teens’ enthusiasm.
Part of my experience working at the newspaper in Los Angeles was helping with the sales department. I was drafted to assist in building up the classified section of the Spanish language monthly they published, trying to establish quality job offerings rather than the usual bar tending or janitorial positions.
I was excited to be part of a paper that wanted to improve the quality of life of readers and members of the community. But I didn’t speak much Spanish and I wasn’t a sales person. So, that was tricky.
During the summer of 2007, as I was wrapping up my year in Los Angeles, our little volunteer community took some personality inventories.
I don’t know why we took these assessments at the end of our volunteer experience. Perhaps it was meant to serve as confirmation of behavior and preferences rather than uncover new insight. I walked away with some enlightening information and yet there were still plenty of questions.
I learned I was considered very introverted. Scoring 9 or possibly 10 out of 10.
Continue reading “When ‘introvert’ isn’t a complete description”
Among the biggest challenges in this volunteer experience was figuring out a way to adjust to living with a roommate. The final two years of college, I didn’t have a roommate. As a junior, my roommate transferred to a different room the first week of the semester and I never got a replacement. During my senior year, I was able to live with a family I met through church. I lived with other people, but it wasn’t the same thing as having a roommate.
But the focal part of this new experience was living with someone much older than me. The best way to explain why this relationship was so challenging is that we were polar opposites. This was truly my introduction to the differences between extroverts and introverts. She was a solid extrovert, and I was a bottled up introvert.
Continue reading “Extrovert versus introvert: The roommate struggle”
I’m reblogging this from Eating Off Plastic.
I never considered my anxiety being different because of Sensory Processing Disorder. But after reading this, it makes a lot of sense. I think this also helps explain why repeatedly trying to face situations doesn’t always make it easier or less stressful. In many instances, the physical symptoms keep showing up with the same intensity.
This is probably a good explanation for why I’m jolted awake by my neighbor and experience the rapid heart beat. I mean, this has been going on for months. My body still isn’t adjusting to it. It still reacts as if this is the first time.
For those who don’t experience anxiety in this way, perhaps this post will offer some insight for why saying “just keep trying” doesn’t always help.
Before you dive in, a quick note. This article was written for the STAR Institute for SPD for Sensory Awareness Month 2017. Sensory anxiety is a topic near and dear to my heart. After it was published, I heard from so many people around the world about how this particular article had really moved them. […]
via Sensory Anxiety: Not your ordinary anxiety — Eating Off Plastic
For a long time, I have related to giraffes. I towered over my classmates at an early age and felt like my awkwardness made me stand out. Just like the giraffe, it was hard to blend in. There’s no place for a giraffe to hide, and I felt like all of my insecurities were equally on full display for everyone to see.
Experiences over the past two weekends have left me with an overwhelming sense of peace in the realization of how far I’ve come on this journey of self-acceptance in just a short time frame. And I credit it with being honest and open in writing while working hard to internalize these new ways of seeing others and myself.
Today has been a rough one. Once again I was startled awake by my upstairs neighbor. So being awake was accompanied with the usual racing heart and the immediate surge of anger. I didn’t want to move out of bed though because it was super comfortable. Yet the more I lay there, the more aggravated I became. So the stomping continued and then there were louder thuds. Did she drop something? Is she jumping? What is going on up there?
